Saturday, December 27, 2008

Christmas and beyond

Hi again to all. Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year or soon to be. WE are looking into the new year with many blessings to come and God on our side. Our small family Christmas was celebrated on tuesday with a little surprise. Church brought over many gifts that we are so very thankful for. God bless all those givers :) So our present opening took a little longer than expected. Talin slept through most of it with Aunt Jillia loving all the cuddles. Annabelle enjoyed it and I believe even was overwhelmed by all the gifts.

Wednesday I went into the hosp. again and was expecting the same old stuff. Plans changed a bit. First Seth was able to come and spend some time up at the hosp. b/c my parents took the kids. Next I found out that my beta numbers actually went up the previous week, which is NOT a good thing. Thank you all my PRAYER WARRIORS because that wed. when they took my blood again, the # went down. So we were around 1700, then back up to almost 3000, then back down to 1200 or so. A few details for all here. When the beta # goes up that is when they look at changing the course of treatment becasue something isn't working. For now...I am staying on the same treatment b/c the #went down again. We do not want this # to continue to go higher, I will continue Chemo until the beta # is zero. As the # goes lower the process becomes a bit longer. So going on into Jan. and Feb. I most likely will still be in chemo. Not necessarily something I was wanted or expecting. So this is a huge emotional adjustment for me personally. I am also to the point of shaving my head with is an emotional battle as well. :)

Well onto my wonderful husband! He, without me knowing set up a special Christmas breaksfast for me in the hosp. Seth talked to the nurses before he left on Christmas Eve and has also talked to my parents and his parents all ahead of time. At 9:00 both our parents showed up with all kinds of Christmas breakfast treats, and the best surprise the kids were there too in reindeer ears and all ! :) Nothing could have been better on my Christmas morning in the hosp., a memory I will never forget and I am deeply thankful to Seth for this!!!!
On Christmas after I got out of the hosp. I was able to go over to my parents for a party which was great, tiring but awesome to be with family! Unfortunately we had two other get togethers planned on friday and saturday that I did not feel up to at all. But Seth being the great daddy he is brought the kids by himself to both the parties!!

So we go into the new year cautious but excited and asking everyone to continue to pray

*mom is extremely tired on most days and is struggling with not being able to take care of her kids by herself...it is so hard to let go!

*we NEED the beta # is continue to drop for chemo to ever come to an end

*emotional adjustments to continued chemo and losing hair (again)

*continued strength esp. for Seth to carry on with day to day tasks, life is still difficult with 2 little ones and one tired tired mommy

thanks for all the support we love you all!!!

Monday, December 15, 2008

Hello again to all,

Sorry about the lack of updates. Here is the thing not... a lot is going on :). We are still fighting sickness. Annabelle has been feverish since friday (100-103) so that is never fun. Not eating much, and pretty much a lump on the couch. But we here there is a lot of sickness going around. Talin is pretty such good to go, and starting to sit on his own which helps mommy out a lot. I am still on some pretty strong cough medicine and constant sudafed but blessed because I can at least take some meds for relief!

This Wed. I have a two hour chemo treatment at the awesome Lemmon Holton Cancer Center. That is an amazing building just to check out sometime if you are downtown. Most likely I will wiped out that night again but we have helped already lined up.

Overall, I am starting to feel a bit better besides a cold. Still tired here and there, but doing good. I have driven a few times to the store and such, which makes me feel normal. :) Now I know it still takes me twice as long because I still move a bit slow, but it is a sense of accomplishment. Seth and I were able to get most of our Christmas shopping done over the weekend which is also a relief to me.

As of now, I will go into the hosp. Christmas Eve morning and get out Christmas afternoon anywhere from 1:00 to 3:00, and still be able to celebrate with family that evening if all goes well. Our family (Seth, me and the kids) are planning are celebrating our Christmas on Tuesday before I leave again. Not the best but we make do, and I will be out of the hosp. part of Christmas at least!

That's all for now :)

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

From the hospital 12-10-08

Hello to all the loyal readers...

Well to update everyone and to clarify my count which we want to fall is....I think we got some numbers mixed up last week :) We reported 35hundred instead of 35thousand what a difference a zero makes...sorry anywho the count started at over one million in November and Tuesday at my apt it was at 8000 (the correct number of zeros) and on wed in the hosp. it has dropped to somewhere in the 1700's! GOD IS GOOD ALL THE TIME AND ALL THE TIME GOD IS GOD! So there is a big praise for us! So let me explain this "count. This is the count from the molar preg. (which started the cancer) which basically is telling us how much cancer is left in my body. Eventually we are looking to getting this back to zero someday. Right now we are well on the way!!

It has been a rough go for us the last couple of days. If you didn't know, the kids were sick. Annabelle has cleared up and is off meds. Talin has not and actually went back to the Doctor a second time for a double ear infections, then this past Sunday we headed to ER because mom (meg) was worried of dehydration, the previous day he only ate about 10 oz of his normal 35 or so. The trip was uneventful, thank the Lord the little guy is okay and since the trip is slowly returning to normal. Now we just want him back to sleeping the night because rest is so important in our house now. I have also come down with a monster of a cold which is not the greatest thing. It is sucking every little bit of energy I have left. Making nearly impossible to take care of the kids which is very hard and emotional for me. It is so hard to watch someone else do everything else that you used to do. Thanks to all who are in the house and helping we appreciate every little bit you do! So very sorry for all tears that are uncontrollable at times :) Seth and I are very run down and tired which is just making life hard.

Chemo treatments are working but getting harder and harder to recover from. Emotions are always running high and I just can't stop the tears anymore. Someone once told me that chemo brings you to the brink of death and then brings you right back to life. I can see it starting to happen. Which is a scary thing quite honestly.

I still have hair it is just thinning on the top fast. I really have given up on it. The more I touch the more it falls out. I pretty much just wear a bandanna everyday now, just makes life easier.

Seth and Annabelle were able to go and get a tree which I was very happy that they could do that. Annabelle is enjoying decorating and having all the lights on. That is joy to watch the awe and wonder in her eyes.

Well this is getting long so I will wrap up...let me say this, Seth normally "edits" my thoughts because I have chemo brain so I am sorry if parts do not make sense.

Saturday, December 6, 2008

More news from Meg

Hello to everyone, hope you are all doing well. This past week honestly has been a tougher one for us. Sick kids adds a huge draining effect to you even when you are healthy. My parents stole our kids on Friday night :) and let Seth and I sleep the night something that hasn't happened in weeks! Thanks mom and dad.

I have been put on potassium twice a day, not sure why but I am hoping it will give me a little more strength, which I have been lacking a lot more of. I also have been having a tough time regulating my body temp., either really hot or super super cold. I talked to my Doctor and found out that it is actually hot flashes which is kinda silly. The chemo is suppressing my hormones which is sorta putting me in a menopause state. Along with that comes emotions and lots of them. I am crying all the time and really with no reason which is very annoying. I try not to break down in front of the kids but sometimes I just can't help it. So that just makes life a little harder to deal with.

This week I have an apt. on Tuesday with my oncologist and then on wed morning I go into the hospital again for a 12 hour chemo session and I will be home again on Thursday at some point. My goal is to start on my research paper that I have to finish for my grad class that I have taken an incomplete in so far. One day it will get done....

I have gotten the ok to drive small distances like the store etc... which is liberating but I haven't actually driven yet :) It will be helpful when I need to bring kids to daycare on Thursdays instead of having someone drive to my house just to drive them to daycare. So that is a BIG praise for me :)

Prayer Request:

*Seth and I are TIRED!!

*Talin has a double ear infection and if it doesn't go away they already are talking tubes

*Annabelle's behavior and sleep patterns

*Strength---I am having a tougher time dealing with everything lately.

*The snow-safety for those driving to help with our kids and those driving me to apts

Thursday, December 4, 2008

Update since Thanksgiving

Seth writing

Sorry for the time between blogs, but life has been very busy.

I am back to work, I worked a few days last week but am working a full week this week. Last Friday and Saturday went relatively well-just trying to stay up on the house, entertain the kids and help Meg get as much rest as possible. Meg was very tired those two days coming off the Wednesday-Thursday chemo and Thanksgiving. Sunday was great for us as we were able to get to church as a family (it was nice to be back). Thanks for all the encouragement and prayer. Monday I went to work during the day and Meg's mom came over to help with the kid's for the day. Starting Monday Annabelle has started to really fight taking naps which adds challenge to Meg's day. Tuesday my sister Jillia was helpful in coming over and helping with the kids. Meg was also able to rest alone a few hours Tuesday night and I was able to play dodgeball with my work team as the Suhy's watched the kids (thanks Dani and Jeremy). Wednesday Sarah Holwerda helped out with the kids and my mom helped get Meg to chemo, stayed with her and drove her back home after. This week was the first time she had her outpatient chemo-it took place at the Lemmen Holton Cancer Center-Meg says it is a beautiful facility. Thursday (today), Annabelle was taken to daycare (a day Meg use to teach) but Talin was not able to go as he was spiking a high temperature. Meg and her mom took Talin to the doctors and he was found to have a double ear infection. He is on meds, but there is talk of having to put tubes in his ears.

Update on Meg
-still continues to be very tired and not full of energy
-starting to lose hair at a faster rate
-has more of an appetite lately
-night after chemo is been very tough on her physically and emotionally
-continues to be thankful for all the help, prayers and encouragement