A long time

Long time Hi Friends!

I have had several requests to update the blog...it has been awhile and some things have changed. I finished chemo the beginning of May and I am truly getting stronger. I feel like I am finally outta of the "chemo cloud" and can think clearly and process info better now. :)

It has been a process to get of the meds however. My awesome oncologist was decreasing my pain meds when we hit a glitch. My body basically went into withdraw for three to four days. Withdraw for all who don't know about it is awful. I can honestly say it is worse than chemo. You have no control over your body, I was crying for 3 hours straight, hot and cold flashes less than 2 minutes apart, your kinda in an illusion state with no control. So...my mom called my doc one day when this was going on and they then increased my meds to get me outta this problem.

From there they contacted a pain med specialist or addiction specialist really, and set up an apt. for me b/c they no longer knew how to get me off this med safely. Little did I know this drug, Oxycontin, is a very popular street drug :) Man I could have make a lot of money if I only knew...HA Anywho...this apt. was very interesting to say the least, I am in a waiting room with some druggies and very interesting yet somewhat amusing people. The guy next to me wanted to know if I was on meth. :0... and all I was thinking was why in the world am I here and thank goodness the kids aren't with me!!!

The doc i saw was interesting too. He left the door open during my apt. and made several phone calls in listening distance away, which I thought I should definitely not be hearing about these other "patients". In my mind I was thinking HIPPA is out the window here. :) A learning exp. to say the least.What the doc told me was my opioids in my brain were not functioning the correct way without the Oxycontin that I had been on for 7 months. It wasn't that I was addicted or opioid dependent it really wasn't even my fault, it could be genetic or just some freak thing that happens occasionally. So we switched drugs ( there goes my extra income :)) and now I am on a drug that they are slowly weaning me off of over 12 weeks.

Right now my mom and sister in law Jillia are rotating and still helping with the kids on a daily basis from 8 to 5. Thanks to them more than they know. Annabelle is now 3 1/2 and doing quite well, she has gone through the ringer with me and has understood most of (too much in my opinion) what has been going on. She has grown up a little too quickly but has done wonderful through this all. She has been past back and forth to numerous caregivers and has had to figure what is expected of her in each situation, no easy feat by any means. She will be attending two days of preschool in the fall, where does the time go. God bless that little girl.

Talin is now one and walking and tearing the house apart. He has been hard to watch him grow up before eyes and miss so much of it, thanks to all who loved him so much for me when I couldn't even hold him on some days. It truly takes a village to raise a little boy!

Hopefully, if this new drug doesn't have too many side affects I am going to cut my help for the kids in half and only have them come from 8:00 to nap time around 1:00 and care for the kids myself until Seth gets home around 5:00. Then maybe every other day or something like that, we will see. I am planning on teaching again at New Branches in the fall. I will be teaching P.E. again for two full days and stay at home the rest and love up my kids.

i am right now going for blood work every other week instead of weekly. I will do this for two months and then I will get tested monthly for a year and then God willing no more pokes for a long long time!!!So right now I am still living day by day but trying to regain the normal life whatever that may be. I can cook dinner again, and mainly care for my kids again, and we can go to the store, and church, take small walks and things I couldn't do for a long time. I am starting to grow some hair :) and I have to shave my legs again go figure, but this time around I look at it as a blessing believe it or not.

I appreciate the life I have been given and the people who God has sent into my life. Seth and I have been through a lot and are still adjusting everyday to the situation we are in. Some days are tougher on our marriage and it is very hard. But then God blesses us again. Someone once told me that years 6 and 7 are the toughest years of marriage. On June 28 God will bless Seth and I with 6 years of marriage. I now know and believe that we can tackle anything, even years 6 and 7. Seth has been outstanding through this and has been a rock for me to lean on. Nothing is easy in life, esp. cancer. But I know God has brought us together and together we will go forth and live a great life.

I want to thank all my readers and all my prayer warriors together you have helped fight the toughest fight I have ever had. God is good all the time and all the time God is good. I won't be updating the blog again unless something major changes. I truly think I am on the road to recovery and God is blessing me every day with more strength. I am certainly not 100% yet, that could take a full year, but well on the way. You have all touched my heart and my family in many many untold stories. We love you all and CAN NEVER thank you enough for all you have done for us and on behalf of us.

Feel free to contact me if you choose: sterkenm@student.gvsu.edu or I am on facebook as well.
I love you all-Meg, a cancer survivor!